Living vicariously and a new chapter

I love movies and books. I love them because I love to pretend that it is me or someone I know in the story. I was watching Mama Mia last night and I just kept thinking how I wanted to be Donna (Meryl Streep's character). How cool it would be to live in Greece and sing and dance instead of talk and walk! I want to sing a song to people instead of speak the words. I want to dance around instead of just walk from point A to point B. I especially want someone like Pierce Brosnan to get down on one knee and profess his undying love for me, even after 21 years! Of course, I am not going to marry him but it would be cool to live in sin!

Movies and books help me feel things. I mean, I feel things all the time but they help me feel good or they make it safe for me to feel sad. It is easier to feel sad about someone else than it is to feel sad about myself. I can watch a movie like Remember Me and cry hysterically for an hour afterwards but I wouldn't dare cry hysterically for an hour about my own life. I was never interested in reading a book more than once or watching a movie more than once. Lately though I have been finding a tremendous amount of comfort in rereading books or watching movies more than once.

I have an appt. with the lawyer tomorrow. I am going to talk about finalizing the divorce. I am not sad about it at all. I am actually relieved and happy to be done with that chapter. I will be able to officially change back to my maiden name! That will definitely make my life easier.